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| Yes...this girl will be a postgraduate |
The past two weeks have been eventful but not in the way the average 25yr old would describe the word. I did not party, go on holiday, get a better paying job or a pair of killer shoes. I wrote exams. Yup, I had to secure my place in the academic sphere and willhopefully be amongst the 2013 September Btech graduates at T.U.T. The reason I’m blogging about boring old exams is because I am still angry at them and myself and I’m not over it and since writing is cheaper than therapy I want to vent.
After getting my diploma I swore off school but guilt set in when I thought of how long it took me to get a three year long diploma (mum calls me a doctor in building science) I decided that I would redeem myself by pursuing the Btech degree and do it in the set amount of time, one year. First semester began and I was all talk about how my study technique would change; I would revise my work every day to ease the pressure of studying at the last minute and I would pass with flying colours…A whole lot of hot air, it’s a surprise I did not float away with my ambitions.
Needless to say I did not adhere to my new code to academic redemption, instead I sat at home, ate tons of ice-cream and used my mirror as a pretend stage where I threw enchanting dance concerts and had my many followers waver their “We love you Dice” banners and throw underwear on stage (it’s a fantasy but judge away lol). The downside of any fantasy, if you live it long enough, is that reality no longer seems necessary and you try your hardest to forget the goals and objective that you proudly penned down. You go to classes in a state of autopilot and then you FAIL! I did not qualify to write one subject’s exam, out of three papers, in the first semester and that put the fear of Jesus in me and my single parent’s struggle made me wake up, smell the coffee and put my back into it!
Second semester was more challenging. I had four subjects, had to re-register Construction Management and classes clashed with my development classes, I was on campus five days a week and my study technique still had not changed but I managed much better when exams came along. I had to decide to stop victimizing myself, telling myself that the world is out to get me and that I’d never cope with the extra subject and a fulltime job. I had to get out of the way of my own success. I did not become a ballerina like I wanted but the talent is still here and I’m using it, I’m not stupid so clearly it was time for an attitude adjustment and I really do not want to become a varsity “Van Wilde type” fossil.
The latest is that exams tried to assault me but I have a feeling that the pressure of a fulltime job and student career were exactly what I needed to show myself that I really can do whatever it is I put my mind to and that even if my study technique sucks ass, it was the same method that helped me squeeze through that small gap where I could see a flicker of light.
I don’t have my results yet so I’m not doing any joyous backflips but I put in the work and I just need the results to reflect that.
I’m currently contemplating the Master’s Program at school…will I ever learn?
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