Growth Is Relative

I'm 25. I don't mention my age to show off the fact that I'm still pretty much blessed with the body of my teen years (I just showed off didn't I?) But rather, I mention my age purely because in most instances it "ain't nothing but a number".

 I had this beautiful illusion that at 25 I would be swept away by my prince charming, married with 8 gorgeous children while maintaining a body that made all the other soccer moms green with envy. I have found the prince but no ring or babies and I'm happy with the pace at which things are going. People often link age with maturity, a certain readiness to commit to the ways of adulthood but just as I'm still the host of the body of an 18 year old, my mannerisms also keep traveling back to my teen years. I realize that popping the balloon of expectations about how my life should've turned out has helped open my eyes to certain realities about myself. Such as: 1. I'm not ready for marriage. As a girlfriend I'm still afforded room to slack in some departments but as a wife my A game has to be on point ALL THE TIME

2. I'm not ready to be a mother. I'm a great babysitter and love children but I'm do not have the emotional capacity to care for a child and there is no return policy for children

3. I don't enjoy kitchens. I know my way around one but having to provide scrumptious, nutritious meals for my family EVERYDAY would drive me to utter lunacy.

4. I still want to try kill myself before the babies come. I want to sky dive or bungee jump without having to think of what will happen to my children should I die(see what I did there?)

5. I don't want to share my husband with the babies just yet. Who is going to pick me up and swing me about senselessly?

All that is saying is that I'm selfish and need to learn how to share my toys.

 Now don't get me wrong, I would love to have the intimate wedding and raise those gorgeous babies(2 now seeing how the economy is ruining my initial plan) but right now the demand on my ovaries by certain individuals (namely my younger sister) have to be put on hold because simply put I'm not ready for the 24/7 kind of deal. The prince and I will make "till death do us part" look like a walk in the park when the stars align and I grow up and we will make an awesome set of parents, God willing but right now I'm in love with our friendship, the evenings where bread and eggs make for a romantic dinner, sniffing socks and wearing the least funky and the late nights spent burning calories on the dance floor of some crowded club.

I'm an adult but I'm not a grown up.

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